9/108 of What Will Be

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A set-back last night with one of my kids has left me completely talking to myself in exaggerated conversations today.  This is a great time for me to be on a 108 day yoga exploration and reminds me to keep in check self-doubt, and getting out of my own way. My  son is 13, a struggling reader and therefor a below average student in many classes.  He is also an identical twin and his brother is an avid reader and one of the brightest of his class.  Our two boys are the best of friends and as they get older it’s hard to watch our struggling child comparing himself academically to his brother.  Last night was very hard as the anticipation of a BIG test was upon him and his self loathing developed in to labeling and raging against himself.  As his parent, I rallied him to believe in his worth, explained learning at your own pace and practicing to improve no matter what the challenge.  But all I really wanted to do was melt into him and tell him he’d never have to leave my side.  We definitely had some loud moments, some stomping, yelling and walking away to regroup and blow noses. In the end though, I became his reading guide, his quizzer and his disciplinarian for the night.  Having an ear to hear him and getting tough was what he really needed because that is what will help him succeed.  It is only with perseverance that he will become a reader and feel confident as a student.    I hope someday he will forgive the heat and fury I mirrored back to him early on and be reminded instead of the apologies I offered as we hunkered down to continue to learn to read.  All of life has it’s challenges and as he learns to read- I learn AGAIN how to parent this child.

I unfortunately broke a rule of my 108 day yoga practice.  I had given up sugary sweets for 108 days and today I blew it on Snickerdoodles and flan.  I need to pay more attention to my body and less to my emotions when it comes to food.

My asana practice today is this link to ring out the body in twists.  I also really love her final blessing which offers “let your light reflect out so that others may see it and shine their light back’….AMEN to that!

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