Most days I move full force ahead with a few steps back. Then there are those occasional side stepping days. The side stepping days mean maybe I haven’t made the progress forward but I have been able to gain more or better support to get ahead. Today I did an asana practice by Jo Tastula called Side Winder Flow on YogaGlo. Concentrating on lengthening your side body and expanding the breath into the ribs to reach deeper spaces really affords me more breath. With fuller and deeper breath I can stay more comfortably in the here and now, and in a way kind of pause to receive more. Today I have decided to take a trip to see one of my kids who has really been suffering physically and emotionally. I need to have strength to support this beautiful soul, and remain steady as long as it takes to help move the body forward again. I would probably have sunk deeper into wallowing sadness had it not been for my steady yoga practice and belief that the majority of humanity is good.
May the light in me shine, may the light in you shine, may the light in the whole world shine. Namaste.
The most difficult time of a sabbatical is when our children or family back home are wishing for us to be at home. It’s like a tide of energy moving forcefully, determined to knock us down one by one. With a family of 6 the odds of one of us getting toppled is a given, but the thing I have noticed and find comfort in, is the strength of the others to not lose sight of the floundering soul. With my 2 oldest children away from us & attending schools in other parts of the EU the opportunity to sink is so much greater because their daily strength is not fed by the family. Yet when they start to waiver or have a set back, they know from experience that the life preserver is just a small throw, or phone call away. As parents we are trying very hard to let them work through life so that integrity, hard work and responsibility can be the corner stones of our children’s lives.
Today we experienced a new homesickness rooted in a traumatic event. One of our children was seriously hurt and we realized that the support network of local friends was not what it seemed. Like a small child entering the ocean and being tackled by the waves, our kid is entering the wave of adulthood and not quite sure how to negotiate the force that is more experienced and stronger. For me, parenting a young adult is a whole new world and I am trying not to let the waves take me down either. While I reach toward my child with strength and a firm foundation, my yoga practice reminds me that compassion is the guide, life will eb and flo, and love will pull us through. We may miss the place that reminds us of effortless friendships, extended family and the memories of a gentler and safer time. But ultimately our home is within us, regardless of the pins position on the map. My children will have a journey that will include suffering and safety. They will have a journey full of travel and times at home. They will have a life that will eb and flow, and I will too.
Today’s asana practice Seane Corn’s “Elements of Flow” on YogaGlo followed by a 20 minute home practice of hip openers and yoga bicycles. I often store my anxiety in my hips and core. By combining a slow flowing practice that is centered in a solid foundation, and working on the places I store my anxiety (hips and core), I may be able to stay more grounded in my emotions.